Lexie struggles with her weight but is learning how to trust her body again with Am I Hungry?
Posted on 01/16/2007 @ 12:30 AM
I'm still judging myself a lot. I still want to do this "right". And I want to do it all right....NOW. I feel like a failure even though I KNOW that I have already made many positive changes. I sometimes still feel guilty for the foods I eat. I sometimes still feel guilty for eating at all.
My Mom is anorexic. I am not. It is HEALTHY to eat. Food is not bad. I am not bad when I eat food. I am no longer living in a situation where someone else controls when I get to eat. I can eat any time I am hungry. I am financially stable enough to have the food I need. I do not have to make up for times I didn't have enough. Food is not a friend, it is nourishment.
I hear the people at work talking about being afraid to allow themselves certain foods. I have tell myself to stay on track, "I know this approach is more logical and it's REAL and you CAN reach your goals this way....just try it". I BELIEVE in this.
But I don't always encourage myself nearly as well as I encourage others. I am afraid of being in charge of making the decisions about my life because for a long time I made a lot of unhealthy decisions. That is not the case anymore. I am capable of making healthy decisions and I have been for quite awhile now. I have changed so many things in my life. I can change this too.
Give yourself time Lexie and keep moving forward. You WILL get there.