Lexie struggles with her weight but is learning how to trust her body again with Am I Hungry?
Posted on 02/09/2007 @ 11:58 PM
A funny thing happened. I was very sick last night. I tried to ignore how I was feeling physically and I went out to lunch with a friend. We went to a restraunt that had a salad bar as well as menu options.
Because my stomach was so upset and I had been sick all night I thought that soup would be the best choice but the only soup they had that wasn't cream soup was a vegetable soup. That is not my favorite. So I ordered the salad bar.
My friend, who knew I was feeling sick looked at me like I was crazy. She is an instinctive eater.... She had also ordered the salad bar AND the soup. She wasn't looking at me like that because I ordered an "all you can eat" salad bar. It was because of what I was choosing while I was sick. Still she said nothing. I walked up to the salad bar and started to reach for a plate when all of the sudden I realized....I didn't want the salad bar. There was no way I could eat any of it comfortably the way I was feeling.
My habit of being afraid that I wasn't going to get enough food had kicked in and I chose the salad bar not out of desire or hunger but out of habit. I WAS hungry but too sick to really enjoy anything. So I did something I've never done before. I changed my order. I told the server I didn't want the salad bar after all and to please bring just a bowl of vegetable soup. A habit in the process of change :) That felt good. I ate a few bites of the soup, enough to give my stomach something to calm down a little and then I stopped....and I'm sooo glad I did.
The process is slow and sometimes frustrating but I know I am learning things that will help me live a healthier life ALL of my life!